My Mama needs a trip. Mama says she needs a vacation. Like Duck from WordWorld. But Mama is not taking a migration or a yourgration or a vacation. She is going to space. She will see all the planets.
When she is in the spaceship, she will hear the planet song (I think she means this one by They Might Be Giants). And she will see every planet.
The first planet is Mercury. It is small and hot. Mama will need lots of suncreen, then she won't get burnt. Then the next planet is Venus. It is almost the same size as Earth. Maybe Mama will be confused. Now we go to Earth, that is my home planet. That is where I live. And Mama lives there too, so that's not a vacation. She should go somewhere else.
One time my Mama and I went to Earth. We went in an airplane when I was a baby. We went to Toronto. We saw Maamu (that's my brother) and Naya (his wife). And Ammi and Abbajaani (my parents). They are pretty old (they're not). Abbajaani and Ammi make my Mama do funny things sometimes. Sometimes they make her say: "OOOGA BOOGA BOOGA" and it makes me laugh (huh. I guess I hide my stress well).
But I want to talk about planets again. I will miss Mama if she goes on vacation. I don't want her to go. She can't leave now!!! We want her to stay so we can play fun things and funny things with Nissa and I. We all like to jump on the bed (I don't) and stand on our heads (I don't and I suspect Nissa wouldn't either) and sing the planet song all day long (I really don't want to do that).
I want to read a book about dinosaurs now.
The End.
Happy weekend, folks. I'm so ecstatic it's Friday that I could do one-handed backflips. But only if I wasn't afraid of breaking my neck trying to impress Friday while it just stands there and laughs at my post-baby jiggly bits. Which it probably would, because I bet Friday thinks it's SO funny to laugh at harried mothers who can't get their shizz together in time to come up with a real blog post. Stupid Friday...who needs you anyway? Oh wait. That would be me. Don't be mad, Friday! I promise to make it up to you. Just give me ten minutes in the shower with a razor, and you won't be sorry. What's that? You can't give me ten minutes because that means you'll be left alone with two children whose idea of a good time is sticking things into their bodily orifices? Oh I get it...that scares you, does it? Welcome to my LIFE, Friday - time to suck it up!!
Good gosh, I totally do deserve a vacation.
Have a great weekend - I'll see you on the flip side, peeps...Go, Colts!
Above: Entranced as Mama ooga-boogas herself back to planet Earth