Monday, October 11, 2010

Happy Hot Chocolate Day.

Yesterday we discovered that we were faced with a moral dilemma.

Namely, the discussion of the history of a certain holiday with a certain 3-foot tall person.

It went a little somethin' like this (hit it!):

Inara: Mama, am I going to school tomorrow?
Me: Nope.
Inara: Well, why not?  Is it a holiday?
Me: Why yes, it is.  It's called Columbus Day.
Yousuf: Now you've done it.
Me: Wha???
Inara: Mama...what is Ka-lump-us Day?
Me: Oh crap. (I didn't actually say that out loud. But my face did.)
Yousuf: Told ya so.
Inara: Daddy...what is Ka-lump-us Day?  Why is it a holiday?
Me: Yes, Daddy - why don't you enlighten us?
Yousuf: Er...ummmm...well.  Let's see. Columbus Day is a holiday that actually falls on the same day as Canadian Thanksgiving! Isn't that neat?  That means Papa and Gammie are having a holiday too!
Me:'re good. Very slick.
Inara: Yeah, but WHAT IS KA-LUMP-US DAY???
Yousuf: I'm out. Your turn.
Me (sighing): Well, the story is that a man named Christopher Columbus sailed all the way from Europe and discovered a new land...
Yousuf: Where people had been living peacefully for thousands of years...
Me: Yes. Well. 
Inara: What land did he discover?
Me: The story is that he discovered America.
Yousuf: But he never actually came here. He went to the West Indies.
Inara: And then what happened?
Me: Well, there were people in that land and he...
Yousuf (covering his mouth): *Cough* pillage! *Cough* disease! *Cough* slavery!
Me (shooting daggers):...and...he said...hello?
Inara: Oh, that was very nice of him.  And then what did they do?  Did they go to the playground?  Did they watch YouTube?  Did they have Hot Chocolate together?  Because ALL people like to have Hot Chocolate right, Mama? Hey...can I have Hot Chocolate tomorrow on Ka-lump-us Day? Huh, Mama? Can I? Please? Pleaaaasssssseeee????
Me (looking at Yousuf and shrugging) I guess you could have Hot Chocolate.  In fact, wasn't Columbus the first to bring cacao beans back to Europe?
Yousuf: If by "bring" you mean "take without asking with the intention to exploit", then yes.
Me: Ahem. Yes, Inara. You can have Hot Chocolate tomorrow.

Moral of the story: Lie like a dog when you have to preserve the innocence of your children.  And give them lots of hot chocolate so that they forget your little indiscretion.

Happy Hot Chocolate Day, peeps.

(Thanks to Leigh for sending me the link to these totally appropriate and politically correct cards. You rock.)
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