Wednesday, March 24, 2010

When it Rains, It....Pukes?

There was no witty blog post today because I got puked on THREE times.  Poor Inara was sicker than a dog this morning, and we were just drowning in buckets of nasty barf.  It was SO gross.  I think that as a mother, I can pretty much deal with anything...but puke is an extra special level of disgusting that even I have trouble handling because:

a) Somehow the puke is always magically attracted to ME. Not the bucket, not the sink, or the toilet.  Just ME.
b) And somehow, Nissa is magically attracted to all the puke that is ON me.  As soon as Inara up-chucks, you can bet your bottom dollar that Nissa wants to investigate it.  Yack.
c) So then, instead of cleaning up one nasty person, we have somehow magically multiplied into THREE puke-encrusted people.  And this happened THREE times.  Mothertrucker!!!!

Okay, and you want to know the absolute GROSSEST part of all?  After each time that Inara puked (and I do feel sorry for her, I swear I do...but this post is not about my sweet girl, it's about ME and how I should be awarded a bloody medal of honor for dealing with barf not once but THREE FLIPPING TIMES today) do you want to know what she did?  She pulled the double-whammy of all gross-outs:

a) She asked me TO KISS HER BETTER (on the lips!  Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!  The HORROR!) and,
b) She asked for MORE FOOD.  After puking up the food SHE JUST ATE.

There are no words.  Just lots and lots and LOTS of puke.  

Can I have a do-over for today?  Pretty please with a cherry on top?  Because today SUCKED GOATS.

Postscript:  Inara is feeling better.  I know this because she asked for cake for dinner.  Fingers, toes and all other crossables are crossed for tomorrow being puke-free.  I have to say, if this was a bug, it was officially the WEIRDEST virus ever.  Who ever heard of an 8-hour-hunger-inducing barfy bug?!?!?  

Post-postcript:  Yousuf wants me to apologize for swearing.  Which I technically did not do.  But apparently "mothertrucker" is close enough.  So I'm sorry, okay?  But you would be swearing too if you got barfed on repeatedly ALL. DAY. LONG.  Goshdarnit!!!
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