Case in point: lately Inara has been scripting our conversations. I get that she's three and has a very vivid imagination, and sometimes her role-playing spills over into real life, but you know what? It would be nice to be given fair warning when we switch between alternate realities, because frankly I am beginning to find it hard to keep up.
What's worse is that she gets MAD if I can't figure out what needs to be said. Clearly she didn't get the memo about mind-reading being backordered on this year's Mommy Model. Better luck next year.
Our conversations lately go something like this:
Inara: Mama. I'm thirsty, can I please have some milk?
Me: Sure...here you go.
Inara: Thanks, Saturn (one of Inara's current obsessions is Space).
Me: Wha?
Inara: It's polite to say "you're welcome", you know.
Me: Uh...right. You're welcome Inara.
Inara: Pluto.
Me: Wha?!? Pluto? Like the planet?
Inara: Sighing. Mama, Pluto isn't a PLANET. It's a PLUTOID. Also known as a DWARF PLANET (like duh).
Me: Okay, so Pluto isn't a planet. But you want to be Pluto, and I'm Saturn? Why do I get to be Saturn?
Inara: Because you're BIG. But not as big as Jupiter. Can my puppies have some milk too?
Me: Puppies? YOUSUF!!! DID YOU BUY INARA A PET?!?
Inara: No, Mama - not THOSE puppies. THESE puppies (pointing to the empty chair beside her).
Me: Relieved. Aaaah. Of course. Those puppies. How could I have missed them? Do puppies like milk?
Inara: Of course they do. And we need to hurry or else we're going to miss our spaceship!
Me: Cool. Where are Inara and her puppies going today?
Inara: PLUTO.
Me: Sorry. Where is Pluto going?
Inara: That's not your line.
Me: WHA?!?
Inara: Now Saturn says: "Don't forget your dog biscuits!"
Me: Really? And then what do YOU say?
Inara: I don't say ANYTHING!!!! UGH!
Me: Inara, if you just explain to me what you'd like me to say, I'm sure I can help you out.
Inara: PLUTO! I'M PLUTO! AND YOU DON'T SAY ANYTHING EITHER!!!
Me: WHAAAAA?!?
Inara: No. It's the puppies that say: "Great! Let's go! Flying in a rocket! A great big rocket! Flying in a rocket! Hang on TIGHT!" (and she actually had this song ALL MADE UP. With a tune. That I was supposed to have known.)
Me: Wow. That's quite a song.
Inara: Yeah. That's what we all sing. Can you sing it with us, Big Mama?
Me: Big Mama?!?
Inara: Yep. That's you.
Me: But I thought I was Saturn.
Inara: You are SO silly, Big Mama! Big Baby, isn't she silly? She is NUTS.
Nissa: Goo goo gack.
Inara: Giggling - Issie! You crack me UP. Like an egg. On my head!!
Me: All right. So I'm Big Mama, and Issie is Big Baby, and hey I GET THIS! That would make Daddy...Big Daddy, right?
Inara: Dubious - I guess....no WAIT! Don't forget about PLUTO!
Me: Oh, right. We can't forget about Pluto. Well, Pluto, what's my line?
Inara: I'm NOT Pluto!!! I'M JUST INARA!!!
Sigh. Honestly, I think I could keep up with a foreign language film better than I can with my kids. Did any part of that conversation even MAKE SENSE? I think not.
How do you say WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED HERE in Plutoid? Oh wait, lemme ask Inara.
Good gosh. I just asked her what the people on Pluto say, and she said: "EXTERMINATE!"
Yeah, so she totally gets her bizarro-ness from me.
And Dr. Who ROCKS.
I have to go play Dress Up Like Daleks now. I hope I get my lines right!
EXTERMINATE!!!
Inara being a Dalek. I have no idea where she got this from.
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