Last night, Inara and I were lying down together in her bed. We usually read a few bedtime stories and then turn out the lights and talk about our day. I love whispering in the quiet stillness with Inara - sometimes I feel like it's the only time of the day that we really get to connect, and hearing what is on her mind is always a revelation. It was last night as well, when she was lying curled up beside me and said into the darkness:
"Mama, do babies come from Mama's tummies?"
Uh-oh, I thought. It's far too late in the day to be having this conversation. So I decided to keep it short.
"Yes...babies do start out inside a tummy, Inara."
"Well, am I going to have a baby in my tummy when I get older?"
"If you want to, you can have a baby in your tummy..."
"Oh, but I DO want to, Mama! I reallyreallyreally want a baby!"
Where are we going with this? I wondered.
"Alright, Inara. If you want to have a baby when you grow up then that's okay. You can make that choice. When you're a grown up."
Inara sighed happily. And then sucked her breath in sharply as she said:
"But wait! If I have a baby, where will I sleep? What room will I have?"
"Oh, you mean will you sleep in this house? Well, I don't live with my Mama anymore, sweetie. So I think that by the time you have your own babies you won't be living with your Mama anymore...right?"
"OH NO!!! DON'T SAY THAT, MAMA! I HAVE TO LIVE WITH YOU ALWAYS!!"
Great, I thought. Our relaxing nightly talk is now making my child visibly distraught. It was also getting late, so at this point I did what any self-respecting mom would do. I lied.
"It's okay, Inara. You can live here, in this house, for as long as you want to. Okay, love? You can stay here."
"Forever, Mama?" she said, her voice returning to a fervent whisper. "You have to say that I can stay here forever."
"Yes, loveybear. You can stay here forever."
"Oh, Mama! That would be so wonderful! And when I grow up you and I can be mothers together and take care of our babies and Daddy can be the Daddy! Wouldn't that be dashing?" (She really said "dashing". It's her new thing.)
Hmmm...I thought. She kind of missed the point about her Daddy, but hey - at least she's calm now. And I don't have to talk to her about The Birds and The Bees and Prop 8. Bonus!
"That would be dashing, Inara. Are we ready to close our eyes and have sweet dreams now?"
"No. Because I just remembered something else."
Ruh-roh...
"I remembered that I have to go to school! How will I take care of a baby if I have to go to school?"
"Oh," I replied, letting out an audible sigh of relief. "Well, it can be hard to both of those things at the same time. That's why Mama made sure that she finished allllllllll her school, and waited a reallllllly looooooong time before she decided to have a baby."
"Mama. You always have such good ideas."
"Why thank you, Inara. Now are we ready to have sweet dreams?"
"Just one more thing, Mama."
"Okay. But just the one more thing. And then we have to sleep."
"Sure thing, Mama. But I have a serious question, okay?"
"A Serious...Question? Oooookaaaaay. Go for it."
(I braced myself for the worst)
"Mama, when I grow up and have babies and live here with you forever, I'm going to need your van, okay? Because I really need to get out sometime. I just wanted you to know that. Oh, and I love you and thanks for the van."
And with that, she turned over and closed her eyes.
Gotta love those nightly talks.
I can't wait to tell this story to her on her wedding day.
(Just look at that face. Is it wrong of me to admit that I don't ever want her to leave either?)
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