Monday, November 29, 2010

Get Your (Harry Potter) Geek On!

I don't think it's any secret that I loves me some Harry Potter. I have no idea how or when it happened, but somewhere between finding the man of my dreams and becoming the world's luckiest mother, I fell in love with an imaginary boy sporting broken glasses and a lightning-shaped scar. It just happened. I couldn't help myself. Deal with it.

So, when the latest movie in the blockbuster Harry Potter franchise came out last week, I was dyyyyyyiiiiinnnnggg to see it. In days of yore, I would have been the one standing in the midnight-showing line on premiere night. But I forgot to read the fine print when I joined the World's Luckiest Mother Club, which clearly states that a prerequisite for joining said club includes giving up daily showers, uninterrupted nights of sleeping, and most importantly, attending midnight premiers of movies. Lucky me.

Yousuf's sister was visiting us last week and we had hoped that she would be able to watch the girls while Yousuf and I snuck out for our first date in over half a decade. But The Lucky Mom's Club had other plans. While the rest of HP fandom got to see The Deathly Hallows on opening night (or day, or even week) - I had to content myself with catching snippets of reviews from friends while being drowned in a deluge of puke.

By the time Becky left this past weekend the girls were feeling fine and our chances at a movie date were obliviated. I was understandably crushed, until Yousuf suggested that I treat myself to a matinee showing while he stayed home with the girls. All of a sudden, I was printing out my ticket and feeling happier than a Patronus-induced buzz.

Who takes pictures of themselves holding Harry Potter tickets? GEEKS, that's who. 

Yousuf agreed that his mild interest in the movie could not compare to my extreme passion and so, wise man that he is, he agreed that it would be in the best interest of the whole family if I just got the whole Deathly Hallows thing over with. I couldn't have agreed with him more, and as I printed out my IMAX ticket (I splurged because if I was going on a solo date I was going to go high class, baby), I thought about my two and a half hours of freedom and smiled. This, I thought to myself, was going to be fabulous. 

Of course the only problem with going to see a movie on your own, especially one that warrants a great attention to detail and discussion, is the fact that you don't actually have anyone to talk with before, during (Okay, talking during a Harry Potter movie is a strict no-no. But you can poke!) or after. It was definitely a problem for me - one that I'm sure the lovely ladies sitting next to me appreciated when I tried to engage them with my wit and charm. I'm sure they saw a crazed almost middle-aged mom type gushing about magic and that's precisely the point at which they moved over a couple of seats. Boo.

Lucky for me however, I didn't need strangers-who-could-have-turned-out-to-be-my-best-friends to have fun. I had my very expensive IMAX ticket and my very expensive movie snacks and I had already peed (twice!) and I was going to have FUN, darnit. So I broke out my trusty Molekine notebook as the lights dimmed and basically had a conversation with my own self throughout the movie. I'm sure nobody thought that was weird at all.

When I came home after those two and a half hours of cinematic history, I just knew I had to share my notes with all of you. Mostly because they make absolutely no sense and sound like the ramblings of an insane fanperson, which I'm sure you will all enjoy.  So here are my notes on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. Oh, and be be spoilers! But if you've already read the books you know what happens. If you don't want to be spoiled, or if you could care less about Harry Potter, you should have either stopped reading by now or stop here and come back another day. It will be much more entertaining, I promise.

- 10 minutes into the movie - Nobody's talking! Is this movie all in mime? Oh, I get it. They're sad.
- Hermione just Obliviated herself. That would really suck.
- I forgot how depressing this was! Even the Dursley's leaving Privet Drive is sad. Harry standing in the empty house, seeing his old room under the stairs - all the expressions on everyone's faces...gosh.
- You can tell right off the bat that they worked really hard to flesh out the book. Gushgushgush I'm a geek.
- Love all the Potters. Well done, don't you think? Who am I talking to? It's like the Seven Potters IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW.
- 20 minutes into the movie and I'm already crying...Hedwig! Oh sweet white-winged Hedwig!! And Mad Eye too.
- "What were the last words Dumbledore said to us?" "Harry is our best hope, trust him". Sniff sniff sniff. And Waaaaaaaaah!!!
- George with the"I'm feeling saintly" bit is so sweet/funny. I love the twins. They should have their own spin off. The Adventures Of George and Fre...oh wait.
- Crap. This is hard to watch knowing which people are going to die.
- I really like IMAX. Going to have to do this more often.
- Everyone is acting so well. Hermione especially. Ron too WHOA I JUST SAW GINNY'S BACK.
- Scandalous!
- George with the thinger in his ear as Harry and Ginny are snogging is hilarous! His expressions were spot on. Way to go Phelps twin number 1! Or number 2. Or whoever you are.
- Bill Nighy! Billy Mack (from Love Actually. Duh.) So good as Scrimgeour - even down to his weird way of talking. God I hope that's not the way he really talks. Great, now I just offended Bill Nighy. 
- Clearly witches and wizards prefer Celtic music at their weddings. Who knew?
- I saw the Deathly Hallows! I saw the Deathly Hallows! Neenerneenerneener!
- This is non-stop action! And it's dark AND funny. So well done.
- IMAX seats are REALLY comfy. Money well spent.
- HELLO NEVILLE (on the Hogwarts train). My eyes see this but my brain sees that!!!!! It's too bad he has such an unfortunate last name.
- I'm laughing my Longbottom off! I'm going to kick your Longbottom!
- I kill me.
- Dobby at Grimmauld Place. Maybe he won't die in the movie?
- I'm scared of Imelda Staunton. She channels Umbridge a bit too well for my liking.
- Dementors!!! Aaaaaah!
- Ministry of Magic scene - so tense! So funny! So great! Loved Ron kissing Mrs. Cattermole as Hermione watched and then the REAL Cattermole caught them. Love how the comedy is so well done in this movie, in spite of all the heavy stuff.
- The best line in the movie was in reply to: "It's Harry Potter, isn't it?" Ron replied as Cattermole: "This'll be something to tell the kids!" hahahahahaha
- Ron got splinched. Ouch.
- Hermione holding up her bloody hands doing the protection spells...oooooh, dramatic. Good acting! I loves Emma. 
- I really want Hermione's bag. Can you imagine how great that would be as a diaper bag?
- I also want an IMAX chair in my living room.
- Oh, Carrie (apparently my Rupert Grint-obsessed friend Carrie also lives in my head from time to time. What a freaky place my brain is)...Ron looks like a ZOMBIE with the locket on. Sexy!
- Freaky Ron! Freaky Ron! He shoved Hermione! Zombie Boy!
- Did Harry and Hermione dance in the book? It's cute...but I also feel like she's cheating on Won-Won. I'm torn. Maybe dancing with the boy your boyfriend has accused you of liking more than him isn't such a good idea, hmmmmmmmm? Tsk, tsk, tsk.
- Dude. Hermione is wearing ARMWARMERS!!!!!!!!!!
- Godric's Hollow: How come Harry didn't know if his parents were buried there? Shouldn't I know this? Some fan I turned out to be. I think the IMAX seats are turning my brain into mush.
- He found his mommy and daddy. :(
- And it's Christmas. Wait. Aren't Brits supposed to say HAPPY Christmas instead of MERRY? Loss of authenticity points for the research team!!
- Ruh-roh...someone is watching. Don't go to Bathilda, Harry! DON'T!!!
- Ewww. She needs a flea collar.
- I'm going to plug my ears because I know the next part is going to be scary. People are looking at me plugging one ear and writing. Just you wait, people. At least I'm prepared.
- BOOM! I win. You should have stayed nice to me and you wouldn't have knocked over your popcorn, lady. Now who looks like the weirdo? Oh wait. I'm still plugging one ear. You win.
- Back at the tent. Harry goes for a walk. Sees Patronus. He's going to get undressed and we get to see him in his skivvies, and all the pre-teens will scream for joy. I should probably plug my ears again.
- How come nobody's screaming? Serious crowd. I guess pre-teens don't buy IMAX tickets. Oh how I love thee, expensive movie theater with excellent sightlines and stadium seating.
- Harry in his skivvies is THIRTY TWO FEET TALL in IMAX. That's a whole lotta Harry. Wish it were Neville. Or Emma. I'm quite digging Hermione in this movie. I want her armwarmers.
- Dude. Harry wore his glasses underwater?!? That's rather inconvenient.
- Ron!!!  Saves the day!!!! Aren't they cold? The mommy in me wants to give them blankets.
- YOWZA. (I believe this is referring to the part where Harry and Hermione start making out. But it's impossible to tell. It could have been that I saw something shiny.)
- Nekkid making-out apparitions have flawless skin. Jealous.
- Best line in the movie (I know I already said that. Ignore the last one.) after the Horcrux was destroyed: "Just think...only three to go!" Ron FTW!
- Whose Patronus was the deer? Snape? Oooooh, I'm good. But they left out the part about Nigellus telling Dumbledore about their location. MAJOR OVERSIGHT, SCRIPTWRITER PEOPLE. The fans demand accuracy! I will take my apology in the form of some flawless-skin apparition goo.
- I can draw in the dark! (I drew the Deathly Hallows symbol here...or something that is supposed to look like it.):

- Love Ron/Rupert, he is so funny. Excellent acting! You get a gold star!
- Luna's House: love the Three Brothers animation. I thought it would be lame-o, but they did it very well.
- The Deathly Hallows are three objects. Together they make one the master of death. I don't know why I wrote that. Possibly for the pop-quiz later. Nerd.
- They took Luna! Wait. I already knew that.
- Snatchers!!! Dude. The head Snatcher is HAWT.
- Oh yes he is. Um hmmmmmmmmm.
- Too much crazy, Bellatrix! I think Helena Bonham Carter overdid her. She not so scary as she is...clowny? Is she BITING Hermione?!??! Nope, just cutting her. Phew.
- No, Dobby, no!!!
- Dobby dying. I cried for him in the book, and now I'm crying for a CG character. I love him that much.
- Voldie got the Elder Wand. Too bad the joke's on you buddy. Nice nose, by the way. 
- What? It's over? That was fast! I didn't want it to end!!

Overall Impressions (written while the credits were rolling...I was dedicated, peeps!):

Watching the movie, you remember that by Book 7 you're not reading a children's story any more. The movie definitely reflected that. This is a lot of credits! You can tell these movies are a HUGE undertaking. Seven movies (eight really), and each one is bigger/better/darker than the last .The whole franchise has come such a long way, as have the actors. I'm in love with Emma Watson - she did SO good. They really did right by the book with this film. I can not WAIT for part 2!

And there you have it. I have officially outed myself as a HP-lovin' geek of the highest magnitude. But it's not just me, you know. There are others like us. We're EVERYWHERE. And some of us even believe this stuff is REAL:
Ah, the old "broom burn" bit. It never gets old.

So spill! Did you enjoy the latest Harry Potter movie? What were your thoughts? Don't repress your inner HP Geek - let it all hang out, friends. Join me and get your geek on!

A glimpse into the mind (and notebook) of a raving lunatic. Don't say you weren't warned.
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