Thursday, September 16, 2010

Free Willa.

Did you know that Yousuf and I are Canadian?  Well, now you do know.  Granted, we're the non-beer-lovin', bacon-avoiding, vegetarian-poutine-making variety of Canadian, but it's true - we're born and bred maple syrup chuggers.

Being Canadian and living in the U.S. has it's up and downs. The thing that sucks the most is the fact that we can't vote here (YET! We're working on this, but it will still be some time before we can participate in your crazy two-party elections.  We're far more accustomed to a wider spread of political parties, ineffectual minority governments and repeated prorogations.  Fun times!).

Anywhoo, you can imagine our confusion when we backed out of our driveway last week and saw, planted squarely in the middle of our front lawn, a very large and shiny campaign election sign.  Confusion and hilarity ensued:

Yousuf:  Hmmm.  Look at that.  It's a campaign sign.
Me:   Um, YEAH.  What is that doing on our lawn?  Who put it there?
Yousuf:   I imagine "Willa" did.  Or someone that knows her.
Me:   But WHY?  Did you say that they could do it?
Yousuf:   I did not.  I don't know Willa. I did not authorize anyone to plant her on our lawn.
Me (going native):   Weird, eh? Do you think someone is making fun of us?  Like taunting us?
Yousuf:   With a big plastic sign?  Yes.  I think someone specifically targeted us, the only Canadians living on this street - or probably in this WHOLE TOWN - and mounted a highly sophisticated campaign sign-planting attack on our property.  Just to rub in the fact that we can't participate in the 131st district State Primary.
Me:  OHMYGOSH YOU ARE SO RIGHT.  (Me, shaking my fists at the heavens:) WILLLLLLLLAAAAA!!!!!

So then we decided that we needed to Free Willa from our lawn and find a better home for her.  Like in our recycling bin.  Now the sad thing about this whole story is that Willa might actually be a very nice person with plenty of interesting things to say, but she FREAKED ME RIGHT OUT.  I feel like she basically invited herself onto my property and into my life and then sat down at my dinner table and demanded some Canadian bacon.  Sacrilege!

And that, my friends, is a surefire way to ensure that I NEVEREVERNEVER vote for a candidate.  Even if I could vote, which I can't, but someday when I can, let this be a lesson to all the Willa-ites of the world.  STAY OFF MY LAWN, WILLA!  Don't they have people checking to see about these things?  Preferably someone who knows that the people living in a particular house AREN'T EVEN ELIGIBLE TO VOTE before they go planting signs, willy-nilly all over the town?  Oh, the humanity!

So, the Primary finally happened on Tuesday and poor Willa did not win.  Honestly, I couldn't say that I was surprised.  I mean if she had perhaps used her campaign marketing budget more wisely she might have gotten some more exposure, instead of promptly being removed to the recycling bin of countless ineligible voters.  Poor Willa. Maybe next time, eh? 

And then, just as I thought this very odd experience was behind us, another very odd thing happened.  Yesterday, Inara and I were playing at her school playground (as we are wont to do after a long day of cut-and-pasting), when I noticed another mom hanging around at the school fence, looking to pick up her child or children, no doubt.  We looked at each other, as parents often do at these sorts of places, kind of half-smiling and half-nodding at each other in passing.  And then we both went on our merry ways.

On our bike ride home, I realized who I had just met.  WILLA.

And now I feel like I've met a (slightly overbearing and intrusive) rockstar.  I MET WILLA, PEEPS!

I'm totally going to call her over for dinner next week.  Maybe I'll give her back her sign too.  I think it would be the polite thing to do, don't you?  Maybe she can use it again next election.

Practicing for dinner with Willa - she looks friendly enough, don't you think? 
It's not quite Canadian Bacon, but it'll have to do.  

I know.  I'm totally off my maple syrup-lovin' rocker.
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