Wednesday, March 2, 2011

This Is Not Good.

My external hard drive is dead. It passed away this morning, at approximately half past breakfast. The coroner's report (from El Cheapitan) includes the following:

- A recommendation to not abuse my computer gadgets, and to guard against others doing the same.
- A lesson in how to walk, chew gum, and not drop my hard drive at the same time.
- An official diagnosis of Death Under Suspicious Circumstances (possibly including Death At Hands Of An Almost Two Year-Old, who may or may not have used it as the world's tiniest stepping stool.)

ASIDE: Did you know that geeks are uber sexy? Especially when they are sitting across from you, frowning at the innards of a tiny hard drive, trying to recapture all the documentation and photographic evidence of your life. Then they are super sexy in a George Clooney/Dr. Ross recusitation in trauma 1 stat! kind of way. I'd take a picture to illustrate my point, but oh, wait - I have NOWHERE TO STORE IT.

This is not good. My poor hard drive is laying in front of me, stripped of its casing...and I think it's ticking? That's not a healthy sign, is it? And Yousuf is now rubbing his head, which he only does when he is thinking really hard about one of three things:

1. A problem that is really hard to fix.
2. How much money that problem is going to cost to fix.
3. Breaking the news to me that the problem can not be fixed.

I'm pacing the confines of my mental hospital waiting room, awaiting the news of my poor hard drive's demise. I can almost see the bad fluorescent lighting casting a pallid shade on my surroundings. And now I'm pretty sure that I can smell the stomach-turning mix of cleaning agents, wilting flowers and B.O.


This is not good. My sanity is now taking a nosedive along with my hard drive.

Please hold us in your thoughts. I'm not ready to lose my hard drive yet. We still had so much to do together. And I can't afford to lose the data that wasn't backed up...the thought is just unbearable to me. There were videos of Nissa singing and Inara talking to robotic dinosaurs. And pictures of the day we played hooky from preschool to go to the beach (just pretend you didn't read that last part, Inara's teacher!).

Come on, hard drive. Don't let go just yet! You still have more to give, I just know it! You can't leave me here like this, all pictureless and videoless and having to rely solely on my meagre writing skills. Which I'm doing a fabulously horrid job of showing off at the moment.

Thank you for your sympathies. Your condolences are appreciated, please send any donations to the Nonexistent Fund To Invent An Indestructible External Hard Drive. Why hasn't someone invented that yet? It's not like we're still living in the dark ages - you know, the times when computers were as big as houses and had little people living inside of them, Wizard of Oz-ing them to life. On second thought, I bet I would never have had this problem if there was a person living inside my hard drive instead of the fragile assortment of magnets and motors that is dying a slow, painful death (It's now gone from ticking to intermittent chugging. I think it may be drunk.)

Anyone know of a miniature Oompa Loompa looking for work?
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