Thursday, January 14, 2010

Hello, World...Now Please Pass the Manti-Perspirant

So yesterday this blog came out of the closet.

You might be asking yourself, "Self, why the heck does this crazy woman have a blog with ACTUAL posts, if she only told people about it yesterday?"

And your Self might just answer, "Who knows?  Maybe because she's nuts.  Maybe because she forgot to tell people.  Maybe because she has no friends.  Or maybe because she was waiting to inject subliminal messages into her content so that she can turn us all into her brain-dead minions. And then do her evil bidding.  Which of course would include leaving the house in a shirt covered with baby schmutz and mismatched socks.  But wait a minute...I already do that!  So what the FLIP is this chick playing at?"

And while most of the above is true (except for the part about turning all of you into my brain-dead minions.  That's only half-true.  I'm still working on my 5-year plan on that one) - the real truth is that I am a very fragile flower (read: self-centered) with very sensitive feelings (read: afraid of rejection) and I'm just a *teensy* bit anal (read: probably has OCD) and so I wanted to make sure that things around here looked good before I told anyone.  I was gadgetizing my widgets and widgetizing my gadgets and stuff like that.  Don't I just sound SO professional?

And of course the stone cold truth is that I was also plain procrastinating.  Because I just want you to like me.  I really really do!  Because it's ALL ABOUT ME. Memememememememe. There, I said it - and now of course I feel like a royal putz.

In the midst of all this pathetic self-involvement, the tragedy of the earthquake struck Haiti and it made me take a step back for just a second.  In the middle of diaper changes I realized that I needed to say something about it, and that I wanted people to hear me.  Too many times us Mamas don't get heard.  We don't get the chance to say that we are smart, caring, and involved in the world around us.  That we can make a difference.  And so I posted about Haiti, took a very deep (caffeine-laced) breath and hit Publish, and then I did the unthinkable.  I shared my post...eeeeeeek!

What would people say?  Would they like me?  Would they in turn share my post with the world?  Would I actually get to hit the ground running and do something totally amazing and useful with my blog (how novel)?  The rest of the day was spent with me camped out in front of my laptop, sweating bullets and compulsively hitting Refresh.  I didn't eat.  I didn't talk.  I didn't even PEE.  Thank Whatever that Yousuf was home because I will be the first to admit that I totally neglected my family yesterday.

As the evening wore on and NOBODY responded to my post, things went from bad to worse.  The sweat stains grew and grew to the point where I actually STOLE Yousuf's anti-perspirant because I needed a hit of the Good Stuff.  I was a complete and utter mess.  And I just know Yousuf was thinking that this "blog stuff" was SO not going to be worth it if I acted like a addict going through withdrawl every time I posted.  But I promised him that I wouldn't always be like this.  That I would get help.  That I would buy my own prescription-strength Manti-persiprant.

Finally, like a beacon shining on the blackest night, my amazing friends (who probably felt sorry for me, and thus compelled to write something) responded.  And all was right with the world.  Even if it was only THREE people who said: "Hey! Good Job!  You're only slightly less nuts than we always suspected!", it was enough to get me through the night.  But seriously folks, I can't go on like this.  I don't think the manti-perspirant can handle it either - so I'm just going to keep doing my thing and you can take it or leave it.  But I really hope you take it....because I'm sweaty and insecure and I NEED YOU.

There's still some things that need doing around here - I want to add a Search function and a FAQ, and I have Other Plans.  Oh baby, do I have Plans (hint: keep in mind that my ultimate plan is to turn you into my personal army of zombie minions) but that will all come in time.  For now - I'm here, and I have things to say.  I just hope you'll stick around to listen.

Oh, and I promised a dear friend that this would not just be a blog where I regale people with tales of my adorable children and their delightful antics, but I lied.  So there.

  Hi.  My name is Mahreen, and my kids are freakishly adorable.  This is my blog. 

blog comments powered by Disqus
Related Posts with Thumbnails