Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Do You Hear That? It's The Sound Of My Brain Exploding

We've had two sick girlies here this past week, and at the same time we've been embarking on The Great House Hunt Fiasco.  I am seriously ready to quit and we've barely even begun!  Can I just comment on the sheer number of weird houses there are in the world?  It boggles the mind that people actually LIVED in some of these houses before we looked at them.  Sigh.

So the lowdown is this:  there is a really perfect neighborhood that we'd love to live in, but we've tried to see a listed house there TWICE and it's been a no-go (and by "try" I mean we put on coats, hats, mittens, and boots for two little people, haul them out to the car, strap them in, make sure we've packed their meals, snacks, drinks, diapers, and the potty!  Can't forget the potty!!! And finally by the time we're ready to go the big little person of course has to pee AGAIN, so back inside we go and by this time we're late and the tiny little person needs to eat and it's just such a barrel of laughs and I can't WAIT to do it again).

The first time we went to go see The House That Shall Not Be Showed we had an appointment and the tenant was supposed to let us in (the house is for sale by the owner, but is currently tenant-occupied), but when we got there the tenant was nowhere to be found.  Grrreeeat.  Oh and did I mention that this house sits opposite a playground, so of course Inara saw the playground and I swear it was like trying to take away crack from an addict with the way she was carrying on as I literally dragged her back to the van (I'm sure our potential new neighbors were SO impressed with me), and was explaining to her in my nicest Mama-hopes-nobody-calls-the-authorities voice that we couldn't stay because we had other houses we needed to see (to which she replied: "Houses?  HOUSES?!?  But I don't wanna see other houses!  I don't even want to LIVE in a house!!  I just want to stay HERE!!!!"  which is actually very sound logic in three year-old Crazytown.  Or so I've heard).

So off we went, a little disappointed but not disheartened.  And then we saw the other houses.  Oh. My. Cow.  Now perhaps we only get to see the houses that smell like cats because of our laughable budget, but still!  Can people not make an EFFORT to clean up their junk?  Do they not want to sell their house?  To be fair, we did see some really cute homes on the outskirts of town, but they were soooooo far away from where we want to be.  So we had to decide whether we wanted a nicer house somewhere not as "us" or if we should try to go back to Crazy Tenant House (which is in a fantastic neighborhood!).

Our totally amazing agents made us another appointment for this morning to go see CT House, and we were so stoked.  I didn't even mind the whole get-ready-five-times-because-people-need-to-pee-and-eat thing, because Yousuf and I knew - we just knew that this was going to be it.  And then we got there.  And Inara saw the playground.  Again.  And her lovely eyes lit right up and I made the HORRIBLE mistake of saying: "Isn't that a nice playground, honey?  Maybe that will be our playground soon!" (and then the heavens opened up and the skies parted and the big man or woman or men or women upstairs pointed their finger or fingers and laughed their butt or butts off at me.  Well not really, but Holy Poop it sure felt like it!).

So we trudge up the steps and opened the porch door and right inside was this big crate with a dog inside, and the doggie was locked up and whining.  Oh and my heart just sank.  And then the dog jumped and started growling at Inara and then I was scared poopless as we waited for someone to answer the door.  Finally, after what seemed like an eternity a man answered the door and asked us what we wanted.  Our agent said we had an appointment to see the house and the man answered that he didn't live there, and that the tenant wasn't there and we couldn't come in. And then he shut the door.  And Inara started crying because she had to pee and and wanted to play at the playground at the same time (Don't ask.  It made sense to her).

I honestly don't know whether I should be mad at the tenant, or mad at our agent for not demanding that someone representing the owner show up, or whether I should just give up altogether.  I just don't know what to think anymore.  What would you do?  Is it worth it to fight for this place, because it's where we want to live?  I mean there's no guarantee that the house is even worth living in - but I feel like we at least owe it to ourselves to try to see it!  I did tell Yousuf that there is no way I am dragging the kids out to this place again - I'll have to take Inara blindfolded or paint the van windows black before Mean Mommy says that she can't play at the playground again.  And I am so not up for that.

There is one other house that our agent just sent us the information for, but it's not quite in the same location (not terrible, but not facing a park!).  It looks cute, and is totally in our budget - the downsides are that the lot size is much smaller than CT House and the interior has wood paneling all over.  I'm not sure how much work it will be to make that mess over.

So please send us some good vibes...we could really use them!  I hope that we (and that really means Yousuf) get to see CT House soon, and I also hope that CT House is at the very least least habitable (which is my new standard after all the crazy we have seen).  Because I am so DONE with this house hunting baloney.

And also because our next best option has a bathroom that no full-sized human could ever hope to fit in:

Fan-flipping-tastic.  Excuse me as I drown my pathetic sorrows in a bag of potato chips.  I hear a bag of Kettle brand Salt & Black Pepper calling my name....
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