Trashcan of Death

I don't know why I find this utterly hilarious... it's just been one of those days, I guess.  You know what I mean - it's the kind of day where you haven't been able to sit down for a more than a minute because everybody everywhere needs you RIGHT NOW and so by the end (or I guess it's technically the middle...gosh I can't believe it's just the MIDDLE of the day!) of it you can barely string together a coherent sentence - yes, it's been that kind of day exactly.

Anyway.  I digress.  Earlier today while I was trying to slap together lunch in history-of-the-world record time, we got a package.  I opened it up but didn't have time to take out any of the contents.  Inara asked if she could take off the tape from the stuff that was inside, just little bits of tape here and there that was holding everything shut.  I didn't see how it could hurt, so I said she could if she put all the tape into the garbage can straight away so that Nissa didn't eat it (I was right there watching.  Or so I thought.) and she thought it was the greatest thing EVER, which allowed me to continue lunch-making without being poked or prodded at by my adorable-yet-often-needy children.

So we ate lunch and I got Nissa asleep for her nap and came back to the kitchen to clean up.  Where I saw this...THE TRASHCAN OF DEATH:

(Feed At Your Own Risk)

Inara apparently gave the can teeth, "so that it could eat the garbage better".  I have no idea why, but just looking at that made me break down into fits of giggles.  Probably because I'm deliriously exhausted AND IT'S ONLY 3PM.

Can't you just hear Trashy (that is what I've officially named him) going NOM NOM NOM in that picture?  I sure can.  Because I'm insane.  It's been one of those days, okay?  Stop judging me.

Oh, and if you think my garbage can looks gross in that shot, you should have seen it BEFORE I had my way with it in Photoshop.  So there.  NOM NOM NOM!!!

What's Cookin': Bok Choy Stir Fry

We had a jam-packed weekend, with my brother and his lovely wife visiting us.  We didn't do much else except spend some quality time together and rub my sister in-law's adorable baby belly (they are expecting their first, a little boy, in July).  But, I did get to cook a fabulous meal for them (I'm nothing if not modest) and I thought I'd share it here.

This is such an easy and versatile stir-fry - you can really add any number of veggies to it.  In the picture you can see that I added bell peppers, celery, zucchini and broccoli, but I've also substituted mushrooms, cubed tofu, carrots - you name it.  And for those of the meat-eating variety, I'm sure you can throw chicken or beef strips in as well (I imagine that if you're using meat you might want to marinade it in the seasonings for a couple of hours or overnight first).

I usually serve my stir-fries with rice, but not always white rice.  We always have wild and brown rice on hand which also compliment this dish nicely, or you could omit the rice altogether and just make extra stir-fry if you're so inclined.  Really anything goes with this!

Anyway...enough rambling on.  Here's the recipe:

Bok Choy Stir Fry

Ingredients:
1 clove of garlic, minced
1 tablespoon grated ginger root
1 head bok choy, coarsely chopped (you can use baby bok choy instead if desired, just use more of it)
Assorted vegetables - try the following (about one cup sliced): mushrooms, celery, carrots, bell peppers, broccoli, zucchini
12 ounces light firm silken tofu (if desired - you can substitute meat, or neither!), drained and cut into 1/2 inch cubes
2 tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce (we use Bragg Liquid Aminos)
2 tablespoons hoisin sauce
1/4 cup chopped scallions
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
 
Directions:
- Heat a large wok or skillet to medium-high (I don't use oil, I just keep a cup of water on hand and add a tiny bit at a time when things start sticking. Of course if you'd rather cook with oil you can add it to the skillet at the beginning).
- Add garlic, ginger, bok choy and veggies.  Stir-fry over medium-high heat until bok choy is wilted, about 3 minutes.
- Add tofu cubes (if you're adding them) and brown for 1 minute.
- Stir in soy sauce, hoisin sauce, scallions and pepper.  Heat through, about 1 minute.
- Serve over rice (I usually make between 1 and 1 1/2 cups, depending on how ravenous the brood is).

Enjoy!

Conversation at Lunch

Inara:  Mommy.  I think I love you.

Me:  Inara.  I think I love you too.

Inara:  No, Mommy (in a very serious tone). I think I'm IN LOVE with you.

Me: Oh.  Well.  Is that...a good thing or a bad thing (you can never be too sure with Inara, so I always like to clarify)?

Inara:  I think...it could be a good thing.

Me:  That's a relief!  So...what does "in love" mean to you, honey?

Inara:  Oh, I know.  Being in love with you is like love.  But being IN it.

Me:  Of course it is.  And what does that feel like?

Inara:  Mommy!  You know!  It feels like this: looooooooooove.  And then we make up.

Me: Make up?  Like we make up after an argument?

Inara:  No, Mommy.  We make up like this. Reaches over to put her arms around my neck, buries her face in my neck and gives me a raspberry.  Bffffllllpppptttttttt!!!

Me: Laughing... I think you mean "making out" - and yes, that's the way to make out.  Don't let anyone ever tell you differently.  And I think you can ONLY make up with me, okay?

Inara:  Of COURSE I can only make up with you!  That's because I'm IN LOOOOOOOVE.

Have a great weekend, peeps.  See you on the flip side.

Mixed Bag

I know you've been dying to hear about how the house inspection went.  And just in case you aren't interested even in the slightest, I'm going to tell you all about it anyway - because that's just how nice I am.

We had not one, but four - count 'em, FOUR different inspectors come out to the house. Their names, in no particular order were Jim, Brian, Keith and the other guy (I am totally crud with names. He was super nice though...and honestly by the end of the day I was so overloaded with information that I could barely remember my own name).  Jim was the structural engineer, Brian was the pest control afficianado, Keith was the boiler expert and the other guy (who was super nice and Inara liked him the best and I feel terrible for not remembering his name.  Chris?  Ken?  Ack! I suck!) inspected our chimney. 

It was NOT quick work.  It took FOREVER, and after the fourth hour Nissa was ready for a nap, Inara was ready to eat, and Yousuf and I had to somehow keep the two of them from going nuclear while still being attentive to the inspector dudes.  I really thought at one point that my brain was going to explode.  Luckily, I had thought to bring snacks, drinks and the most important thing...A BABY CARRIER.  So I had them constantly fed and relatively happy, and Nissa even got to rest a bit as I walked around with her snuggled on my front.  Inara just wanted to jump off things, which was okay too.

Jim The Engineer was by far the most quippy of the bunch.  He kept saying things like: "You know, the only thing that really surprises me about this house is that it's in such good condition, which is REALLY surprising to me!" - which I suppose was meant to make us feel....good?  Or something?  And whenever he referred to the age of the house he'd say "A house of this vintage" which made me wonder if our house had a fruity bouquet, or perhaps it would be full-bodied and unctious (those are actually all the wine terms that I know.  Don't deny that you're impressed).

There were some things that we knew would be an issue going into this whole mess, like the roof.  We knew it would need replacing soonish, and we had budgeted for that in our offer.  So it was no surprise when we were told that it really needed to be done sooner rather than later.  I had also thought that the foundation (being of an older vintage, har har) would have some issues, but we were pleasantly surprised to hear that wasn't the case at all - in fact it looked great.  "Better than great, even - I've seen newer houses with worse foundations!" said Quippy Jim.  Yay!

We also thought we'd be told that all the windows would need replacing, but we found that some of them had already been done - which was great because now won't have to spend as much money on them as we initially thought (which always makes Yousuf, aka El Cheapitan, very very happy).  El Cheapitan also asked Jim if it was possible to DIY more electrical outlets, add some attic insulation, knock down the wall between the living and dining room and do a kitchen remodel by himself (the man is nothing if not persistent when it comes to saving his cashola).  Jim didn't even skip a beat, "Oh sure you can!  Why the heck not?  You look like a handy fellow!"  he quipped.  Now I am pretty sure that Yousuf was being mocked, but El Cheapitan didn't see it that way at all.  To him it was tacit approval of his stingy ways.  Just for the record, I will NOT allow him to destroy our house willy-nilly.  Any destruction will have to be approved by me first (you'll have to stay tuned, as I am sure hilarity will ensue as we embark on our "renovation" adventures).

There were a few minor things that needed to be done - washers needed to be tightened on faucets, an unused gas line was turned off but needed to be clamped, and there was a vent in the upstairs bathroom that basically vented to nowhere.  Nothing major and all fixable.  The rest of the house looked great - no evidence of pest damage, according to Brian, and the chimney was in great shape, according to nice-man-whose-name-I-can't-for-the-life-of-me-remember (Pete? Ed? Mike? Arrrrgh...this is killing me!).

The only big freak out moment I had was when Jim and Keith pointed to the pipes that came out of the boiler in the basement and ran along the ceiling, taking the hot water to the radiators to heat the house.  Well, wouldn't you just know it but they were insulated.  With asbestos.  ASBESTOS, people.  Holy Mother of Goldfish - I nearly died a thousand deaths on the spot and wanted to go running out of there, clutching my babies to my bosom, screaming like a half-blind banshee and never ever look back. 

Jim and Keith watched me (very calmly, I might add), as I repeated in a strangulated whisper: "Did you say there's ASBESTOS in my house?  Like right NOW?  Right HERE?" and Yousuf gave me his wide eyed,  pleading, please-don't-scare-the-normal-people-away look.  And then Quippy Jim said: "Yes.  The good news is that it's perfectly safe down here right now" - which was followed by me trying to quell the bulging of my eyeballs as I gaped at him and retorted: "Jim. I don't believe you.  Tell me exactly how this is SAFE" in a voice that was about five octaves higher than normal.

The good news was that the asbestos in our house (and yes, I'm still calling it our house) is in GREAT condition, it's not worn or damaged in any major way.  If it was, it would release hazardous asbestos fibers into the air and that would be BADBADBAD REALLYREALLY BAD.  But that's not the case at all. Not-so-quippy Keith said: "Mrs. George.  It's fine.  You are FINE.  I have kids too, and I'd bring them here.  You are in no danger from this material."  I could have kissed that man, I swear on all the chocolate chips in the universe I was never ever as relieved as I was then.

Being the uber-nerds that we are, Yousuf and I came home and used our amazing Google-fu skills to find out more about asbestos in the home (if you want to read more about it, this is a really good summary from the EPA).  It also helped to talk to a few of our friends that have been in the same position.  Right now our inclination is to not over-react, and to pay to have it encapsulated.  Once we are in the house and have spent some time finding a reputable asbestos abatement professional, we can have it removed once and for all.

So all in all, it was a good day - slightly more stressful than I would have liked, but still good and informative and I'm glad that we found out everything ahead of time.  We are going to go ahead with the closing on the house, and I am really excited about it.  There is one other minor inspection that needs to happen, but barring any unforeseens I think we are a go!

El Cheapitan: The Man. The Mystery. The Legend.

He's NUTS but I love him anyway.

Nonsense Alert

There are a lot of things I could be writing about right now, but I just can't sit still long enough to come up with a coherent sentence.  I have started this post about five times today and so far all I have this:

This weekend we got buried in a snowicane but gosh I have such a cute baby who likes to steal shoes and then eat them - she's kind of like a puppy, you know?  A pudgy, bald, goo-filled puppy who apparently only likes to steal her sister's really expensive shoes while the aforementioned big sister plays outside with Daddy in snowdrifts as big AS MY HOUSE because we got buried in a snowicane.  Did I already mention that? 

Oh and then the next morning Inara refused to eat breakfast because she is three and refuses to eat FRUIT.  What kind of person hates fruit?  My kid, that's who.  But I totally got her to. Eat fruit, that is. I completely and utterly tricked her and damn, it felt GOOD.  Who has to trick their kid into eating fruit?  Me - aka Mean Mommy, that's who.  Inara woke up Sunday and had the brilliant idea to go on a food fast until and unless we gave her ice cream.  I'm not even kidding.  So rather than fighting her I came up with the even more brilliant idea of giving in - only on one condition.  We had to MAKE the ice cream.  So Yousuf blended frozen strawberries and strawberry yogurt together and we had instant gratification...Inara got to eat ice cream and I got to do the Silent And Invisible Dance Of Victory as I watched her eat not one, but TWO helpings of "ice cream". Bwah hahahahahaha!!!!

Meanwhile, Nissa chewed on more shoes.  And still looked really boogery from her cold.  And then yesterday I was supposed to blog but I didn't because I AM SO NERVOUS ABOUT OUR HOME INSPECTION TOMORROW.

And that's as far as I got.

I have no idea what to expect tomorrow.  I keep having these recurring daydreams in which the inspector dudes are all dressed up in Grim Reaper garb and they point to us with their 9 foot-long scythes and say in deep ominous voices: "Your house SUCKS GOATS.  You MUST NOT live here, under ANY circumstances.  LEAVE NOW." 

Yikes. I am totally banned from having any more caffeine today.

Hopefully all will go well tomorrow and they won't find anything wrong with the house AT ALL.  Oh, stop laughing.  It could happen!  Yeah, I know...that's just about as likely as me waking up to Inara eating a huge bowl of fruit.  Darn it!!!