And if you must know, I have quite an ample hiney (I blame genetics, and chocolate, and cheese. And bread. Oh, and ice cream! Can't forget the ice cream!), so you can trust me when I say that if my hiney received some kickage, and I felt said kickage on said ample hiney...that it was a really rough week.
My hiney actually hurts just thinking about it.
Fatima Mustafa, aka my mom, hopped on a train from Toronto when she sensed the desperation bordering on hysteria in my voice early last week. It was a blessing to have her here, and it helped immensely. For three days, I didn't have to feel guilty about abandoning one child in order to care for the other. Nobody felt left out, nobody acted out because they felt like they weren't getting my attention. It was all good in the 'hood.
And yet, the week still kicked my hiney.
It's because kindergarten is upsetting the very delicate balance of MY LIFE. We were teetering on the precipice here at the George household, looking out over the abyss and imagining that it was filled with sparkles and glitter and magical unicorns and happy friendly school vibes.
But it totally, utterly, completely, wasn't.
They abyss looked back at us last week and then reared it's ugly head and roared ANXIETY FEAR TEARS MAMA AM I GOING TO HAVE TO BACK TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?!?!?!?!?!? OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
They (And by they I mean people that know more about parenting than me - which is like, everyone.) say that the second week of school is actually harder than the first. And sure enough, once the novelty of the school situation wore away and and was replaced by the tedium of sleep eat change school home eat change (bath optional) sleep, it really wasn't so much fun any more.
We're getting there though, with fewer tears every day - but lord almighty, is it ever hard. I feel like every moment of my life last week revolved around this gigantic spinning tornado, and I was grabbing onto anything solid every second of the day, trying not to get sucked into the chaos. It was so completely exhausting, the tears and the routine and the handling of every fragile emotion in a way that didn't end in someone bursting out in tears or banging little fists against the walls, floor, or me...and urgh. I just hope that we hit our school groove soon.
Nissa misses Inara SO MUCH. I miss her too, but the depths of Nissa's despair upon seeing Inara off to school every day is absolutely heart wrenching. I'm trying to re-learn all my toddler-entertainment tricks, but man, are my skills rusty. I love hanging out with my two year-old though, it's as if we are re-discovering each other in a whole new way, I'm learning things about my youngest child that I had no idea about previously.
Like last week, I learned that:
- Nissa loves green beans.
- Nissa compliments any outfit I try on in a changing room. She says I look like a "fancy lady", even when the pants are about two sizes too small for my (as I am sure you are well aware of by now) very ample hiney.
- Nissa wears her sunglasses upside down, every single time. She insists that this is the correct way to wear them, every single time.
- Nissa is all kinds of hilarious, and her sense of humor is fantastically well-developed. She can be dry and sarcastic in one instant, and be making farting sounds the next, all while giving me a look that says, Come on, Mama. Try to keep up with me here.
Nissa has been having a hard time napping lately, and I think it has to do with Inara going away. But last week I told her that as soon as she woke up from her nap we would be going to get Inara, and just like that - problem solved. Little sister understands a lot more than I give her credit for.
It hasn't been all awful, it's just been insanely busy. There were times last week when I felt like we could so do this school thing, and that given the right amount of time - everything would be a-okay.
Here is a brief run-down of positives, because it's good for me to keep all these in mind when I'm yelling at my kids and stuffing their faces full of breakfast muffins so that we can get to school on time (is anyone else dealing with morning slowpokes? Please say that I'm not the only one!):
- Inara loves with a capital L covered in goopy wet kisses to infinity her teacher. I am so SO thrilled for her.
- In spite of a slightly rocky second day (she got pushed on the playground, resulting in a scratched cheek), Inara has overcome so many of her own anxieties about school, and she hasn't missed a single day because of it.
- I have found a great way to alleviate all of our stress - humor. I make funny faces at Nissa when we drop Inara off, and instead of a love note at lunch (which was reminding Inara of me in an "I need Mama RIGHT NOW" kind of way), she gets a Joke Of The Day. I found out on Friday that her classmates and teacher all look forward to her reading them aloud. Awesome.
- At the end of last week, we discussed Inara's feelings about school. She told us that when she comes home, no matter how tough of a day it has been, the feeling she feels the most when she finishes a day of school....is PRIDE.
Oh yeah, baby. So take THAT, last week. I am laughing my backside off, in all of it's magnificence, in your general direction. And oh, how good it feels to laugh.
p.s. - approximately twenty minutes after writing this post, Nissa threw up in my lap. Sigh. Looks like it's going to be another loooooong week.
p.p.s. - approximately 4 hours after writing this post, I fell asleep and had the strangest dream about Matt Damon leading my next book club meeting. This has nothing to do with anything, other than to remind you that my mind is a strange and bizarre place. And that I love Matt Damon.
Sweet dreams of waking up to get Big Sister from school - and by the way, no more puking, please.
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